Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
