If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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