Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
