3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
