is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
