I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
