Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
