Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
