so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
