Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
