Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
