Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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