Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
