spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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