I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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