I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You may now shotgun with the bride
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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