can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's never too late to be topless.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize