i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
