ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
