Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
