No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
