I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
