all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
