i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
