i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
