I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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