just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
