She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
