Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
