So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
