Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
