The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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