...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This toilet bowl is my home.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
