Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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