I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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