Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
