Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
