she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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