Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
