Cold hands, warm shart.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just high enough for therapy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
