im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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