I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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