i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
