We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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