wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
