Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Two words: nipple clamps
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