Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Your cock deserves a montage
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
