If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
