East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
