I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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