just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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