my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
