White coat. Heels.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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