Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
please come you make the beer taste better
ugly people sure do ruin things
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
