I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
