is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
