yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
