All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the raccoons are back...
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