I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
