I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
