On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
