we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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