I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
