god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
